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everything; something; nothing

confessions

the wind has never known your name, darling—
i just kept trying to find excuses to think of you.

that day when you wore my scarf by accident,
i didn’t want you to give it back, but i asked for
it because i didn’t know how to explain to you
why it was so important to me that you cared.

i have your phone number memorized because
i never know when i’ll need to tell you to come
back. i’ve been trying my best to forget.

your eyes never reminded me of oceans or seas.
they were blue and i never found anything that
could compare to their color. i’m sorry i wrote two
poems saying that they were the sky. 

i wanted to tell you that i loved you the second
time we kissed. but i knew you weren’t ready yet,
and i kept wishing you’d feel it hidden under my lips.

your mother always intimidated me. her smile was
too much like yours and i never knew what to say
to her because i was scared she wouldn’t want me
to be with you. and darling, that was all i wanted.

i did not like it when you kissed my neck. i was
always afraid that you were going to leave too
permanent of an imprint there. (i was right).

the other day, i told someone that i didn’t love you
any more. i’m sorry that i lied. it’s just so hard to
keep confessing truths to strangers. they don’t
know you like i do and they don’t know me like you.

i still love you.
i still love you.

i don’t want to.

Posted 1 year ago with 440 notes
Tags: poetry  
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